thinking about fatness and Korean culture

An article came across my news feed today about singer IU saying that she really hates it when people tell her she's gained weight, and in a moment of weakness, I read the comments.

The thing is, Korea absolutely does have some seriously wrong ideas about acceptable body size. But a lot of the way it gets talked about by Western (and often white) folks is really fucked up. Whenever I read critiques of Korea's sizeist culture, the implication is that Korea is "backwards" and needs to "evolve" to be more like America/the West. I'm not sure where these folks get the idea that America is not fatphobic, or that progress equals being like America, but these sorts of critiques always leave a foul taste in my mouth.

In my own experience the most vocal folks critiquing Korean fatphobia are Western raised Koreans and white people critiquing who would not typically be classified as "fat" by American standards. They are indignant that they have been/would be considered "fat" by Koreans, and that influences their idea that Koreans are backwards or primitive. They see Korea as being more virulently fatphobic than America because here they experience size privilege. Comments like "How could you possibly call her fat?"  or "Koreans need to get a life" don't actually destigmatize fatness. In calling for Korea to be more like America they completely ignore the toxically fatphobic culture of America AND the oppressive influence of American culture in Korea.

It's not that I think it's okay for Korean culture to be so fatphobic. I don't. BUT I also understand that as someone outside of the culture, it really isn't my place to judge or try and force my (Western privileged) beliefs onto a culture I am not a part of. As a foreigner with no language ability, I receive highly filtered information. There is so much I do not understand - cannot understand. I do my best, and take a generous view on things. I believe that there is resistance to fatphobia in Korea  that I cannot see. I am not some special snowflake who invented the idea of body positivity.

This attitude is separate from my reality as a fat-by-any-standard Korean. As an adoptee, my desire to be "authentically Korean" has always contributed to my body image issues. How could I be Korean when I was so fat? Koreans aren't fat. I will never be beautiful by that standard. I will never be Korean by that standard.

When I made my first trip home in 2009 I was terrified that I would be met by fatphobia at every turn. Other adoptees who had visited told me horror stories. But that was not my experience at all. What I experienced riding the Metro was a deep sense of comfort at being surrounded by Korean faces. I'd never been "the norm" before, and despite all the ways in which I was different (tattoos, short hair, different fashion, and fat) I felt like I belonged.

So there's that.

The other thing is that Koreans are blunt. They will say things to your face that Americans never would, but these sorts of comments aren't viewed as rude or insulting. So there's that, too.

My mind is full. I have no answers, just scattered thoughts.