Monday, February 24, 2014

miss saigon and other myths about adoption: remembering Hyunsu

Hyunsu's memorial, via Jane Jeong Trenka

I have been so full of grief recently, since story of Hyunsu broke - the 3 year old adopted Korean boy murdered by his adoptive father in Maryland.

There have been many excellent blog posts about this case already, but I have not been ready to write until now. Even this post feels...disjointed and rambling.

Where do I begin?

We call him 현수 but we may never know the name his mother gave him. Our agencies like to give us new names to better sever us from our pasts. There is a logic here - "clean slate" babies are easier to place. Easier to place means more adoptions. More adoptions means more profits. Additionally, the adoptees' past is fabricated - fictions about anonymous abandonment, false names, dates and places - to discourage reunions. Reunions, and adoptees with any connection to their homeland threaten to upset the system that keeps the golden goose laying eggs. More babies equals more profits. You can now browse a photo catalog of "waiting children" on Holt's website. This is a business.

And Hyunsu's mother, his 어머니, may never learn of her child's fate. Holt, Hyunsu's Korean agency, had previously stated in the aftermath of the Sueppel murders that birth mothers would not be notified in less they inquired with the agency as to the status of their children. Hyunsu's mother may still be hoping her child is living a better life than she could provide. Or perhaps she has seen his photo in the news, blurry and turned away, and wondered if that was her son. Maybe she felt Brian O'Callaghan's death blows like they were dealt to her own heart, because the bond between mother and child can be that strong.

I mourn for Hyunsu as if he was my own little brother, 동생. He was a part of the adoptee family, and as his 형 I wonder why I didn't protect him. Why wasn't I fighting harder? Could I, and others like me, have prevented his death? I grieve for myself and and for all adoptees, because Hyunsu's short, painful life makes our stories more real. It does away with any lingering doubts about being "better off" or any questions as to the insatiable greed of adoption agencies. The public response - news articles that highlight Brian O'Callaghan's government job and military commendations dismiss the value of Hyunsu's life. Holt's own misdirection about Mongolian spots (birthmarks), hydrocephalous and "waiting for the verdict" in a corrupt legal system typifies their scrambling to protect their own financial interests in maintaining an pretty picture of adoption. Brian O'Callaghan's post-homicide actions of donating his son's organs and then bragging about it on his facebook page reveals a lot about the value he placed on his son's life (and death). If you read the comments (and never, read the comments) you will find many accusations being flung at adoptees, in particular, that we should be grateful that our adopters didn't murder us, too.

Adoptee's lives - our whole lives, not just the ones our agencies fabricated, not just the ones that begin when we are adopted - matter. And so do our deaths.

The TRACK blog recently posted a list of 13 Korean adoptees murdered by their adoptive parents. This is an incomplete list, but it is too much. Just one is too much.

Adoptees also have a disproportionately high rate of suicide and suicide attempts. One of Harry Holt's adopted children, his son Joseph, committed suicide at the age of 32. As one of the first ever Korean adoptees - he is probably the first to take his own life. Sadly, he was not the last. We will never know his reasons, but as one of the many adoptees who has attempted suicide, this strikes a far too familiar and painful chord for me.

A recent (2013) study in Minnesota found, in a three year time period, adoptees were 4 times more likely to attempt suicide. Yet the researchers still insisted that this was good news, as "the majority of adoptees are psychologically healthy." This keeps the system moving. It keeps the picture pretty and the babies coming and the parents buying and we, the adoptees, are left to fend for ourselves.

The entire transracial adoption machine is complicit in our deaths, and near deaths.

Adoptees lives matter. And so do our deaths.

The whole thing is a little "Miss Saigon". By which I mean, racism, Orientalism, misogyny, ableism, classism, white supremacy, American/Western supremacy and plain ole greed fuel the international adoption industry. It tells us that it better to be killed by your adoptive family than to live with your family of origin. Just check out this quote from the "Dear Friends" letter Harry Holt sent out to recruit adoptive families when he started Korean adoption (and overseas adoption as a whole):


Unwed mothers in Korea who choose to raise their children face very real challenges. But they believe in their decision and are working to change the system from the inside. 



As I weep and grieve for Hyunsu, I am more determined than ever to break apart this broken system and fight, for Hyunsu, for myself, for all of us.

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